to want without wanting

on occasion
i see a glimpse
reflected in a misplaced word
a sigh, or a glance
hovering,
a little
too close for comfort

do I love each letter
that fits in my hand?

the rumbling gets louder
and harder to ignore
I still trip over every raindrop
to park your car
in front of the empty house
where, dressed in expensive clothes
fit to order
I scramble
to rearrange my breath the right way
and hold on to the magazines

they always were
poor substitutes
for a poor man